BA (Hons) CG Arts & Animation - UCA Rochester
Just a note: Sorry for the late upload, i have no internet and had no viable way of getting to a wifi hot spot until tonight.(spent 30mins driving around finding one that would let me upload) Not an excuse, but that's what happened.
I'm not going to say too much at the moment, as I will let Phil give his comments first, but one thing to point out - your script has 2 endings...which is the one you are going for? Also, you are missing all the other work such as film reviews etc - I know you have an internet issue at the moment, but this is exactly the reason you should be uploading your work as you go.
OGR 10/02/2013Evening Lekti,Okay; my first impression of your storyboard is that you've opted for a classic 'mid-distance' proscenium arch-style approach; by which I mean is that for the most part a fixed camera stands apart from the action while characters walk in front of it from right to left or from left to right. For example, at no point does anything run toward the camera; the camera is rarely used subjectively - i.e. it's not used in a pov way, or to put the audience into the action. This is often true of students who are worrying, not about 'directing with a pencil' but rather about drawing more complex or challenging compositions. Your storyboard is an example of the sort of approach I was hoping not to see, simply because it hardly reflects the fill scope and variety of choices available to the storyteller; certainly, the 'like for like' storyboard exercise is especially useful for showing students just how complex the coverage might be on a single busy sequence. On myUCA I've made available some really practical and useful resources re. storyboarding, especially the 'Setting Up Your Shot' PDF, which is a visual glossary of all the established camera shots - and also how you depict them through drawing. I'm wondering if you've looked at these resources, Lekti - your flattened approach to your storyboard would suggest not. Now, mid-distance 'flattening' shots ARE used by film-makers - often for comedic or 'dead-pan' moments - but I'm not convinced at all that your storyboards are design intentionally in this way. I think your storyboards perhaps reflect a lack of real engagement with the big conceptual challenge of this unit - which is the art of visual storytelling - how combinations of images and set-ups can create narrative effectively.An example; you've got some great action sequences in here: you've got the chef falling over; now that could be 'shot' in any number of ways; for example, an establishing shot of his foot in the trap; a close-up of his foot in the trap; a close-up of his face; a straight-on shot wherein the chef falls towards us; a mid-distance shot of him hitting the ground; a close-up of his face - and so on. The net result of this montage would be to create visual excitement and a sense of 'flurry' - i.e. that the approach to constructing the fall would, in effect, accentuate and underline the audience's experience of the character's fall.
What I suggest you do is revisit your storyboards with this example in mind - because right now your construction of shots is so neutral and largely generic, that the effect is rather like watching a stage-play. I'll be looking for evidence come assessment that students have engaged actively with the resources available to them on myUCA.It's good to see you beginning to think about character design; but if you take a moment to look at some of the OGRs of your classmates, you'll see that character design is something born out of 'many' drawings, and also a discursive process facilitated by thumbnailing, expression sheets and a high-visibility of process. I can't bring myself to simply restate the importance of blogging (sharing, seeking feedback etc), because I know you know, but I am tiring of your resistance, Lekti - because the truth is that you would benefit hugely from more opportunities to have your work critiqued and considered, not less - and while I understand that internet access at home has been an issue, I still don't understand why you're not using your time at UCA (with reliable and unlimited access to the internet) to organise this aspect of your workflow.In practical terms I'd like to see you using the various Character Design resources available to you on myUCA - particularly the Loomis PDF that is full of useful tips in regard to how to design for animation in terms of character. It looks to me from your designs so far that you're going for an essentially 'real world' style, when perhaps a more 'squash and stretch' world of Loony Tunes-inspired exaggeration might suit the tone of your story; this would also open up greater opportunities to 'design' in terms of proportion and exaggeration.
Re. the two endings; actually, I reckon the sign should read Jack's Cacti Pie as opposed to 'Rabbit and Cacti Pie' - because we've just seen that he can't catch them (I recall that the '& Rabbit' suggestion was mine very early on) and to now suggest he could presents a logic problem.In regard to everything else you appear to be missing, Lekti - just let me reiterate my concerns in regard to you satisfying the assessment criteria in regards to professionalism and project management. With 2 weeks to go before the final crit - and all the work required of you between now and then - I have serious concerns in regard to how well or not you're actually coping with the demands of this course. Year 2 of CGAA represents a significant jump in terms of workload and multi-tasking and one of my responsibilities to year one students is to seek to ready them for what is to come; one of my other responsibilities is to be honest with students when I feel they would be unable to meet that challenge. In truth, Lekti, I'm worried about you in this respect - largely because you're not showing signs of truly responding to all the advice, support and guidance available to you - or seeking to organise your life in ways more likely to encourage positive change and personal success.You've 2 weeks left, Lekti - and you're behind. Pick up the pace - or run out of time. It really is up to you now.